And that's a wrap....

I'm sitting here this morning, the last day of 2014, enjoying a much needed cup of coffee after having to endure -9 degree temps while feeding our rambunctious equines.  Walking out to the barn, the sun struggling to make it up over the horizon and the three amigos wondering why I'm not moving quicker, I couldn't help but reflect on this past year.  

I still can't believe this year has come to an end.  It really feels like it just started not that long ago.  But here we all, at the finish line of 2014, a little battered and bruised, somewhat tired, a little older but very much grateful for how things turned out.  Now someone with a court side view of my life this past year might question why I would say "grateful" but I can't think of a better word.

Throughout our circle of family and friends we have seen or personally experienced cancer, divorce and death.  There were numerous unplanned emergencies, financial hardships and defeats that at times tested our resolve and our faith.  Perhaps if I only focused on the defeats I might be consumed with despair and a deep sense of failure.  But if I back up the truck to a different perspective I can also see the vast number of blessings and good fortune that has befallen me and those close to us.  

For every hardship we experienced this year we've also enjoyed wonderful blessings.  We've reinvented ourselves to country living.  We may not regularly see the wonderful sunsets but we're greeted every morning with gorgeous sunrises.  We've made new friends and rediscovered old ones.  Deaths and illnesses have led to the reconnection and reconciliation with family.  Hardships only gave us opportunities to grow in our faith.  And for me the greatest blessing of all is the news that we are going to be grandparents in 2015. 

I'm sure many of you are also reflecting on this past year.  Maybe some of you are a little sad or perhaps struggling through grief and despair.  It might be hard to see the good that 2014 brought but if you're reading this at the very least you've made it through the year.  Whatever 2014 threw at you, you managed to overcome and you're still standing.  There are many who haven't even accomplished that much but you have.  

Blessings appear in many forms and it's easy to overlook them as we face life's challenges.  Keep in mind that life is all about perspective.  We can choose to focus only on the hardships but if we change our perspective we'll also see the good that equally fills our days.  No matter what life throws at you never forget that you are loved.  Every one of us is vessel for love and compassion if we choose to be.  So even if you find yourself in life's dark valleys, you still have the capacity to help someone else reach life's glorious peaks.  By doing so you'll elevate yourself to those peaks before you know it.  

For each of you I wish you the very best life has to offer.  May God's blessings and grace fill your days every day for the year to come.

Happy New Year!

New directions...

Well slap my ass and call me "Betty"!  Whoever came up with the saying "Life is what happens while you're making plans" ought to be given free drinks for life.  I can tell you with all honesty that a year ago this time I would've NEVER imagined my life to be what it is now.

A pasture in place of a hot tub.  My dad in heaven instead of Minden, Nevada.  Piles of manure instead of piles of laundry.  No, wait, yeah there's still piles of laundry.  Seriously I couldn't have possibly imagined the life I'm now living if I had several crystal balls, a Ouija board and Jimmy the Greek calling the shots (yeah, you kids won't remember him).  But you know given the chance I wouldn't change a thing.  Call it Karma or the Lord pitching a seriously wicked curve ball (I choose the latter), but life has been what the Chinese call "interesting" for the last six months and I'm digging every minute of it.  

In case you didn't know we're now living on a ranch and living a ranch style life is certainly a challenge.  Oh wait, I was recently told that our little 2.5 acre plot of heaven is really a "ranchette".  Hey, for a former So Cal guy it's a RANCH.  Yeah, my Texas friends like to laugh and say "oh, that's cute, he thinks he lives on a ranch.  His place is the size of our driveway."

But whatever, I digress.  It's certainly much different out here in the boonies than it was living in suburbia.  These days I'm far more concerned about the welfare of a couple of horse than I am about whether or not my neighbor thinks I have a nice, green lawn.  There's a peaceful tranquility that didn't exist, even in my amazing backyard in Westminster where we enjoyed a fireplace, outdoor kitchen and hot tub.  Now-a-days we listen to the horses whinny, the eagles screech overhead and the occasional tractor plowing a field.  Heck, even our little rat dogs have managed to ratchet it down a notch and just relax a bit under a shady tree without barking at every conceivable thing that moves with the wind.

As life proceeds at what seems like a break-neck speed, I'm thankful that I'm not completely in charge of what happens around me.  I suspect if all decisions were left up to me I wouldn't have thought to take on the ranch style life we now have but at this moment I'm so incredibly thankful that God saw fit to put me in this place.   I know we're all so consumed with blazing our own trails and setting a path for our lives but I've learned that life is really a collaboration between what we want and what we're given.  True happiness comes from making the most of what we're given.  I've had a number of challenges in my life and unforeseen forks in the road but if they never presented themselves when they did I never would've ended up where I am now.  Those people I call family and friends never would've been if it wasn't for life interceding at those particular moments in time.  And for each of those moments, whether good or bad, I'm eternally grateful.

So if life seems to be a pile of manure for you right now, fear not.  This is only one of those forks in the road that's leading you to your true bliss.  Be thankful for all the challenges that get thrown at you because it's those moments in life that reveal exactly who you are and who you're meant to be.  You may not be able to see the sun set but you'll definitely see the sun rise.

Enjoy the ride!

"Oooh, this can't be good...

Wow, I guess it's been a while since I've had anything to blaaaahg about.  Thoughts have come and gone, most I can't remember.  But here's a fun little list that I'm sure many of us have experienced in one way or another.  

Nothing good ever came from the following...

She says, "Fine, whatever."

Your doctor leaves a message saying, "The results of your biopsy came in. Ahh, I need you to call me as soon as possible."

You receive a call in the middle of the night from one of your parents.  Heck, any call in the middle of the night is not good.

Your significant other says, "We need to talk."

Or, your significant other starts a conversation with, "Honey, you know I love you..."

You find a big, dark wet spot underneath your car.

Your teacher tells you the Principle wants to see you.  (Sorry, that's a childhood nightmare that still haunts me.)

You receive an envelop in the mail from the IRS.

Flashing red and blue lights suddenly appear in your rear view mirror.

A geyser of water shoots out of the ground no where near any of your sprinkler heads.

Your friend insists this food cart vendor has the best sushi ever.

You realize there's no toilet paper just as your body is painfully trying to expel that sushi you ate about an hour ago.

Your usually moody teenage daughter is excited to see you and asks "how's your day?"

Your car engine suddenly makes a sickening, metal crunching sound and shimmies wildly as you're cruising down the highway.

You receive any kind of correspondence from your ex.

The cork from that REALLY expensive wine you've been holding onto for years disintegrates as you try to twist in the cork screw.

As you see a 350 lbs man board the plane you realize the only empty seat left is next to you.

You find a couple of nuts and bolts on the garage floor just as your kid rides off on the bike you just assembled.

The person who's about to cut your hair looks like they had their hair cut with a bowl and garden sheers.

An old friend pulls up to your house unannounced with every possession they have crammed into their car.
You come home after a long day only to discover your doggy door has been closed all day and you have three dogs who don't digest food very well.

After changing the oil to your lawn mower it suddenly blankets the entire back yard with thick, black smoke.

You receive a call from the fraud department of your credit card company.

You see your wife looking up horse properties and boarding facilities on the internet and you only have a dog.

The doctor who's about to perform your colonoscopy winks at you just before they put you under.

Gone soft...

I found this photo circulating about Facebook and was almost compelled to comment but given there's a high population of uneducated people lurking about in cyberspace I thought it best to confine my comments to my seldom read blog lest I get inundated with belligerent rants. 

First and foremost I'm entirely in favor of women breast feeding in public. Sure discretion should be taken if at all possible but I understand when it's feeding time it's feeding time. But I will say I have a bit of an issue with this gratuitous photo and the message it sends. 

"Back in my day" the military, well at least the Army, had very strick rules on public behavior.  PDA (public displays of affection) was essentially forbidden. No hand holding, hugging or kissing, with the exception of the congratulatory kiss from your wife as you were being promoted.  They were also very strick on the wear and presentation of the uniform. If I were to step outside without my "cover" (hat) I was considered out of uniform and would be severely reprimanded. One had to constantly watch your "gig line" and no loose threads or dangling laces. I understand and appreciate the military moms serving our country today and the need to tend to their children to include breast feeding but in my "old school" opinion the women in this photo are out of uniform, plain and simple. 

See, the problem today is that the Army and all military services have gone soft. I'm not saying there aren't brave souls out there serving and protecting this great country but I am saying we've caved to the public pressure to place the needs of the individual soldier over that of the entire service.  When I joined the Army, and even back when my father served, it was clearly understood by all those who raised their right hands that we willingly and gratefully forfeited the personal rights we were charged to defend. Before we were husbands and fathers we were soldiers.  I recall being told "If the Army wanted you to have a family they would've issued you one!"  We all understood that, accepted that and tried to balance a family life that wasn't well endorsed by the military. In those days spouses and children really did suffer, so much more than any military family does now.  

I would like to think the Army would be the last great bastion of selfless discipline, sacrifice and commitment to something larger than ourselves but it too has fallen prey to those that seek to place the selfish needs of one over the greater good of all.  We are overly concerned of infringing on the feelings of our citizen soldiers that we make concessions for any and all types of behavior.  

By all means breast feed in public with as much gusto and abandonment as you will. Just don't do it in uniform.  Don't degrade the uniform in order to satisfy a personal need.  Believe it or not, you're a soldier first and a mother second. If you have issue with that then seek another profession.  I truly commend you for your willingness to wear the uniform on our behalf but being in the Army isn't just some ordinary profession.  It truly is about putting your service and your country above yourself and your uniform is a symbol of that ultimate sacrifice.  

Wear it with pride. Wear it with dignity.  

TSA, you're alright...

Ah, what a blessing they are. Those rare moments when those things that typically bring you grief or irritation actually manage to brighten your day.  

Thank you TSA!  Thank you for letting me keep my shoes on.  Thank you for letting me keep my laptop in my computer bag. What a way to start a Monday!  

Basking

in the glow of unbridled joy, I told the TSA agent "you're my new best friend!"   She told me I should thank the K9 squad.  Apparently running the dogs up and down the security line was enough to let us retain our clothing, computers and a smidge of our dignity. I'll be honest, when they told us to form a single line, making me step out of the priority line, I was a little miffed. But I mustard up my good spirits and waited for the K9 sniff-down. An adorable black lab was making the rounds and it was only the steely black sidearm of the police officer that kept me from reaching down to the dog and showering him with baby talk snugg'ems.  It was a little unnerving when the lab stopped right in front of me and buried his feet on my shoes (Merrells). A quizzical look from the officer made me blurt out "He must smell the horse manure."  Really?  Did I just say that?  Hey my shoes are clean but for some reason I had to channel the idiot in me and say something utterly ridiculous.  Oh well, at least I made it through security in record time.  

Ok, so off to Texas. Let's hope the good fortune of my TSA experience carries over throughout the rest of the week.  

One or the other...

Seems kinda ironic to me that we measure ourselves and others in "absolutes" when in fact we live our entire lives in the gray area.  True or false, yes or no, with me or against me, introvert or extrovert, there's not a lot of wiggle room in those alternatives.  Sure absolutes help to define, measure, determine and execute on matters that make up our physical world.  Where would the IT guys be if it wasn't for "1's" and "0's"?  "Sorta's" doesn't put a man on the moon and there's certainly no middle ground when it comes to being pregnant.

But it's a dangerous practice to see things in absolutes.  It sets boundaries and limitations.  It keeps us locked up in our own prison of awareness without possibility of parole.  It clings to the finite while damning the infinite.  It fosters fear, insecurity and hate, all of which are the building blocks that form the walls we build around ourselves.  However, to entertain alternatives and to consider other options is a means of creating bridges between our own understanding and the unknown.  Where absolutes bring all things to a conclusion, living in the gray inspires hope.  I know some of you feel that if you open your mind's eye to things that are not in line with your way of thinking that it somehow means you're surrendering your own convictions.  On the contrary, in most cases it strengthens your convictions, giving you a broader and deeper understanding of your place in this world.

When it comes to individuals there is no such thing as absolutes.  I would argue there's no one that's pure good or evil although we've seen our fair share of folks that have tried to be one or the other.  Nope, we all pretty much reside in that gray area, some more gray than others.  I believe there is really only one absolute and that's God's love for us all.  Anything beyond that is just a manifestation of our own doing and as far as I can see it really hasn't served us all that well.  Hey, it's not to say I don't like my iPhone or that my hate for the St. Louis Rams or Los Angeles Dodgers isn't real but if we really want to insist on an absolute then let that be love and let the rest of the world fall within the gray areas. 

At least that's my opinion...

Fresh starts...

It's a new year and it's a time for new beginnings and fresh starts.  If 2013 wasn't quite what you expected, just call a "Mulligan" and start 2014 on a clean slate.  Forget yesterday.  Let's see what tomorrow brings.

On this first day of the year we all wish and pray for our friends and families to experience continued blessings throughout the year, full of joy and good fortune.  As wonderful as that might be it's really an unrealistic expectation.  Sure, none of us want to be faced with hardships but life has a way of making things "interesting" for us while we're trying to enjoy life's good fortune.  Love, happiness and joy will certainly make an appearance but so too will obstacles, challenges and unfortunately for some, despair.  I would love to see all my friends and family experience nothing but pure joy throughout the year but I have to be realistic and acknowledge that all of us will experience difficult times during the year.  Some may face greater challenges than others but there will be challenges for all nonetheless.  It is my hope and prayer that when difficult times arise, and they will, that each of us will be blessed with the courage, faith and perseverance to emerge from these challenges stronger, wiser and full of grace.

I know you will experience love and joy during year but you're also going to experience difficult times as well.  I pray that you not only find the strength to endure these hardships but also have the wisdom to look upon them as blessings.  It's through these struggles that we discover our true character and realize the depths of our resolve and our personal fortitude.  Our ability to love and to forgive are never more tested as when we're in our darkest hour.

Hoping for good fortune is pretty much a given.  Let me hope and pray that each of you, each of us, have the courage and the strength to overcome all things that put our hearts and minds to the test and to look upon ALL of life's experiences as true blessings.

This new year is our year to be all that we are capable of being.

Let's bring our A game!