What do you bring to the table?

It's far too easy to look at every relationship from our own eyes.  We see how other people treat us, talk to us and engage us and we measure their efforts at how well they meet our expectations with too much scrutiny.  "He always does this...she always says that... they never do...".  We make a million and one observations of how people act towards us and we are quick to judge and worse yet, quick to blame.

But how do people see YOU?  What are you putting out there?  Compliments or criticisms?  Are you nice or negative?  Remember, how you treat others is very much how the world treats you.  I may complain that I don't get invited out by friends but perhaps I need to realize the reason they don't is because I've canceled too many times.  Your perception of a friend or family member being uncaring and distant might be because they only thing you bring to the relationship is self-centered drama, negativity and selfishness.

I'm not implying that you need to hide the hurt in your life but is that all you have to offer?  Sure it's ok to be frustrated with others but must every conversation begin and end with a criticism?  We all have pains, sorrows, frustrations and anger but sharing those things should only be done if it's truly our intent to overcome them.  Far too often we engage in conversations over the bad things in life purely to complain with no intentions to resolve the issues other than to try and convince the listener to be just as bitter and resentful as us.

It's the end of another year.  Wouldn't this be the perfect time to throw away old habits and make a decision to be a better version of yourself?  Stop looking at others to change themselves in order to be pleasing to you.  Change yourself to be the happy, positive person YOU want to be.  What you put out there is what you'll get in return.  Maybe you might lose a friend or two in the process and there may be a family member that resents you for your change but you WILL gain many more positive friends and you'll strengthen many loving
family bonds along the way.

Begin the new year right.  Be a new you, a better you and see the world light up before you.

Happy New Year!

No one's forcing you...

It's ironic to me that the folks who choose not to believe seem to complain the most about those that do.  Seems to me that if you declare yourself an atheist why would you even care that someone else chooses to live a life of faith?  The words "God bless" or "Merry Christmas" should have no meaning to you so why throw a fit when you hear them?  Remember the old "Sticks and stones" phrase?  So how does "Jesus" or "Christmas"cause you harm?

The other day I heard an ad on the radio that said "It's not PC to say 'Merry Christmas...'"  When did politics have anything to do with Christmas?  Hey folks, this IS a religious holiday.  Why should anyone have to sugar coat the true meaning of the season?  I would love it if you were a believer but that's your choice.  I feel no ill will against you either way.  I just don't understand why you express such hatred towards those who choose to live a life guided by faith.  I can't help but think you're
struggling with some kind of guilt or insecurity that compels you to hate me for what I believe.  No one is ramming anything down your throats.  Hey, in schools there's no more prayer nor special interest groups based on faith.  Nativity scenes or any reference to faith are no longer displayed in public venues with the exception of churches and in front of the homes of those who choose to believe.

As I said, I harbor no resentments nor feel self-righteous over those who choose not to believe.  I know that not every atheist is a religion-hater nor is every person of faith a self-righteous pompous ass.  If you want to ask me questions about my faith I'll be glad to share with you but I won't preach, scold or coerce you into believing anything I believe.  Living a life of faith is a personal choice as is choosing not to believe.  No amount of salesmanship or brow beating will make anyone believe anything.  Nothing about how I choose to live my life should matter to anyone else unless it somehow causes harm.   I say live and let live.  Life is all about choices.  We don't have to agree with each other but we do need to respect each other.

My prayers and well wishes are for everyone regardless of their beliefs.  Hey, a season devoted to love and compassion can't be a bad thing, right?

Gratitude vs Greed

There's been a lot of churn recently over how soon people and businesses should be promoting Christmas. I for one like to celebrate my holidays in order. Each has its own merits and they should be celebrated without feeling pressured or getting muscled out by another holiday that's riding its heals.

Back when I was a kid you never saw anything related to Christmas until the day after Thanksgiving.  Halloween stuff didn't appear until the beginning of October.  Thanksgiving ads didn't show up until the first of November.  This year ads and displays for Christmas started to appear in September. WTH?!

Seems ironic, or actually sad, that the season for acknowledging and celebrating gratitude is being nearly wiped out by the season of greed.  Now don't get me wrong I love Christmas for it's the celebration of the birth of Christ but let's be real, friends. As far as our society is concerned Christmas is all about consumption and I don't mean food and booze.  We are pressured for months into going out and spending beyond our means, to get all those "perfect" gifts everyone is entitled to. Gift giving has become more of an obligation rather than a loving gesture because of the over-nurtured sense of expectation many people have.  Cars, jewelry, electronics, power tools and expensive clothing seem to be the norm.  Clever marketing has created a need for all these toys and the pressure to buy comes sooner and more intense each year.  Hence, this year some stores are planning on opening Thanksgiving day.

I've heard some folks on local radio and TV stations say they''ll refuse to shop at any store that opens on Thanksgiving.  Doesn't matter what deals they're offering, for the remainder of the holiday season they won't spend one dime in any of those establishments.  I applaud that commitment.  Hey, I know life is all about choices and we live in a country where our freedoms of expression (or in this case, spending) are joyfully exercised.  So why not exercise the "freedom" to open stores on Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving isn't a religious holiday so it seems odd to hear some people say, as a justification for opening stores on Thanksgiving day, "not everyone celebrates Thanksgiving."  Hmmm,  so not everyone feels compelled to say "thank you" for all the wonderful things life has provided them?  Really?  Can't spend just ONE day in 365 to stop and say "thank you"?  Wow, that's tragic.  You know there are stores in my neighborhood that are intentionally closed on Sundays because according to the owners they want everyone, customers and employees alike, to spend the day with their families.  They're placing a value on family and encouraging others to put aside one day of their week to slow down and enjoy life.  This whole issue of stores opening on Thanksgiving isn't about religious freedom or the right to spend money.  It's about being the kind of people, the kind of community we want to be.

These stores may say there's a demand.  Not really sure how they've determined that, but sure, "if you open, they will come."  But if you close, will they riot?  Hey I get it.  You put a glass of wine in front of me and I'll drink it (assuming it's good).  But if you don't, that doesn't mean I'm going to throw a fit over it.  We bitch, piss, moan and complain over how selfish and self-centered our society has become and yet we turn around and promote just the kind of behavior we seem to think is so reprehensible.

You know if you want to shop then shop.  Knock yourself out, I'm not one to judge.  I personally choose to hang out with family and friends.  But just keep in mind that our actions, whatever they may be, are a reflection of who we really are and our collective actions are a reflection of how the rest of the world sees us.  

No more Kool-Aid...

Un-f'ing-believeable!  A quarterback gets drilled in the chest by a linebacker, he fumbles the ball, it's recovered by the defense and the officials throw a flag for "unnecessary roughness".  Are you kidding me!?  At what point did the NFL forget the fact that football is a contact sport?  I know this all sounds like the rants of a frustrated fan who saw his team lose for the second week in a row and it pretty much is, but this goes much deeper than the bitching over a horrible call on the field.

For the officiating committee and the zebras on the field to say the hit on Drew Brees was "unnecessary roughness" galls me to no end.  The justification for this so-called rule is to better protect players from the violence that IS football.  My questions is "why"?  Football is a violent, contact sport.  It's meant to be.  Any football player who frets over how rough the game is should consider playing baseball or curling.  Millionaires are playing the game and they are more concerned about their checkbooks rather than their performance.  The threat of season or career ending injuries would threaten their lucrative salaries.  Seems ironic that back in the day when players had to get second jobs in the off season to pay the bills, the amount of violence was far greater than it is today.  Other than the deception created by the NFL regarding the severity of concussions, for the most part everyone knew the risks and dangers of playing the game and it was accepted.  If you ask me, I think the larger the salaries, the greater the violence.  Give me $10 million dollars and I'll be anyone's punching bag for a few months out of the year.

The lie has grown to such proportions that many are starting to believe it to be true.  This has nothing to do with the protection of the players.  Chop blocks on defensive linemen is not only legal but encouraged.  The simple fact of the matter is that the NFL is not about competition, it's about revenue.  It's all about ticket and merchandise sales, marketing revenues and profit margins.  Men like Ronnie Lott and Lawrence Taylor could never compete in today's NFL for the simple fact they couldn't afford to pay all the fines levied by the NFL bean counters.  Superstars such as Drew Brees and Tom Brady, who've amassed insane statistics over the past several years, are under greater protection by the NFL than a person who's under the witness protection plan.  I'm of the mind that these superstars wouldn't have the statistics they have if they didn't have the luxury of the no-touch rules that they currently enjoy today.  Hell, just two weeks ago his royal highness Peyton Manning had his ankle rolled up on and immediately the talk switched to modifying the rules to provide even MORE protection for the quarterback.  Oh, and the NFL was considering fining the guy who committed this HORRIBLE crime of trying to tackle the quarterback.  

There's a saying that defenses win championships and offenses sell tickets.  That is very much true.  The constant rule changes that restrict the defenses from actually defending gives the offense such a lopsided advantage that scores are soaring and offensive records are dropping at an incredible rate.  Americans want to see points on the board, or so we have been conditioned to believe so.  It's no wonder soccer has never really taken off in this country.  Low scoring games are just another yawn festival.  It's also true that without all the great stars of the game, who's really going to watch?  Stars get hurt and ticket sales drop, it's a known fact.  Who wants to pay a week's wage to watch a sloppy game of football by a bunch of understudies?  But hey, injuries heal and the stars re-emerged.  But with every booboo suffered by a quarterback the NFL takes even greater steps to protect their cash cows.

It's embarrassing for me to realize I've gotten so upset over the success or failure of a bunch of millionaires who "play" for a living.  Like movie celebrities that get paid stupid amounts of money to play make believe, much like we did as kids.  But don't get me started on that group.  I'm sad that the teams and heroes I admired as a child no longer exist.  These days the NFL, along with most other professional sports, is all big business.  A Super Bowl ring is merely a byproduct of what really matters to the players, coaches, owners and stakeholders…. money!

I can't bring myself to watch the games any more.  It's not the football I grew to know and love.  I'll always be a devoted 49er fan and I'll maintain hopes that common sense might some day prevail, but I'm not holding my breath.  Football is heading down the path of professional wrestling.  It's a just show, manipulated and modified in order to entice the mob to spend money they don't have in order to make rich people richer.

Drink up, people.  I'm done here.

Measure of a man...

The shit some men say to women!

"So honey do you prefer your men in briefs or tighty whities?"

"Do you like having big boobs?  I mean look at those things?"

"You are SOOO f-ing hot!  Do you like older guys?"

Yes, those are all actual quotes uttered by local knuckle-draggers at this sports bar near my hotel. About the only thing that made listening to those morons tolerable was the way the young waitress bitch slapped them back to reality.  

"You can't keep your wife happy, what makes you think you could do anything for me?"

BAM!!!  Sit down a-hole!

I get that alcohol plays a part in all this and of course flirting for tips is part of the job but what happened to playful and classy banter?  A well placed compliment, a very slightly off-colored innuendo, or just a little wink-n-nod, all lost arts among the losers that frequent the local watering holes these days.  "Sure, I'll have another beer.  And NICE ass!"

I know these girls are mostly good sports about the crassness but deep down inside I know it's hurtful and it only goes to reinforce their perception that all men are pigs.  Granted many of us are hogs but the lengths these young women go to earn a little more than a 10% tip is disheartening and down right degrading.  

I blame the parents for much of this.  For most of their lives these punks are encouraged to be the tough guy in the classroom and on the playing field and they are not expected to be held accountable for their personal actions.  "Hey, my son just got a free ride to Nebraska, so what if he put your kid in a trash can."  

Guys, neither the length of your penis nor the width of your wallet is a true measure of a man.  Your respect and compassion towards others and your willingness to stand up for what's right in the face of adversity is the difference between being a man and a man-child.  Grow the hell up and get a REAL pair.  Be the person women adore and men respect.  Anybody can be a punk. It takes personal strength and courage to be a real man. 

Oh He's Listening...

"Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it."  Don't know who coined that phrase but it was quite prophetic last night.

I recently joined a men's bible study group through my church.  We typically meet on Wednesday nights at a Starbucks located within a local King Soopers grocery store.  It's not a big group, usually no more than three to five of us at a time.  We pretty much dive into the scripture from the previous Sunday service.  Our conversations last night got into some of the prejudices we experienced in life and how in our particular community we don't face a lot of the social issues we see across the country due to our demographics.  We agreed that we need to be challenged at times regarding our faith and our compassion towards others.  Little did I know that God would take us up on our request so quickly.

I noticed during our session that a younger fellow sitting across the room with a couple of friends would periodically look over at us.  On a couple of occasions he walked by to either throw away some trash or refill his water, each time walking a little closer to our group trying to listen in on our conversations.  As we were about to wrap up with our closing prayers he made his way over to us.  This is where the fun began.

He hesitated when he approached, not wanting to interrupt us.  Our pastor assured him that he was welcome.  At first he genuinely seemed interested in what we were doing, asking us about our group and what we were discussing.  But it quickly became clear he had another agenda.  His questions were not about gaining a better understanding for himself but rather to challenge us in our beliefs.  

He started pulling out random lines of scripture to try and prove some point that basically no one is saved.  He tried to suggest that any relationship with God would only be offered to a select few which really had nothing to do with faith.  It was clear to me that even with all this vast knowledge he possessed about the contents of the Bible he was not a person of faith.  He started grilling us on whether we could recite the Ten Commandments or if we knew what a particular verse in the Bible was.  I don't know about you but I couldn't recite every chapter and verse of the Bible in any great shakes.  Several times he would stop to ask if he should leave and stated he didn't want to make us mad, each time looking at me when he said it.  I guess I never really did have a good poker face.  Perhaps he thought I was going to explode or worse yet, fly across the room and pound him.  To be honest those thoughts did cross my mind a couple of times.    

Finally at one point Pastor Steve and another gentleman from our group, Stan, offered to have this man join us so we could pray for him.  He bristled and said, "Why would I want to pray with someone who doesn't know the Bible?"  Well, that was it for me.  Now I generally stayed quiet throughout this exchange but now I had to chime in.  "You mean to tell me that if we could answer ALL of your questions, the way you want them to be answered and we could recite each line and verse of the Bible, you'd sit down and pray with us?"  His stammer was all the proof I needed.  I told him that I questioned his intentions about why he approached us in the first place.  I admitted I can't recite every verse in the Bible nor explain every nuance of each Gospel.  But I do know that Jesus is my Lord and Savior and no amount of
brow beating is going to change my faith."  

Yeah to say I was a bit spun up was an understatement.  Last night certainly pointed out my spiritual flaws in high definition.  My insecurities stemming from my lack of knowledge about the contents of the Bible does put me on the defensive at times when I'm confronted.  All I can say is I know what I know.  There's an understanding, a truth within me that can't be explained in words.  Even without a Bible in hand I know my relationship with God through Jesus is real.  No amount of lawyer-speak and word twisting is going to convince me otherwise.  

I know this guy was basically trying to pick a spiritual fight and unfortunately I let him get under my skin.  It wasn't until later as I was driving home that I understood that this poor guy is essentially lost.  Somewhere along in his life he was convinced that he wasn't good enough.  Someone sold him a bill of goods that his life and his soul didn't matter.  I think the episode last night was an attempt on his part to reach out and find someone that would say he was OK.  I realize that it's not enough just to have faith.  For those of faith we have a responsibility to share our faith and provide comfort to those who are suffering, especially to those that don't even know they are.  I know the next time this type of situation presents it'll be helpful to have a stronger grasp on the contents of the Bible but more importantly I need to bring forth more compassion and patience.  It's always been in my nature to want to fight back when I get attacked.  I just pray I can do it from a position of love rather than anger.

Here's to doing it better next time.

Old Man River...

I've come to the realization that old guys aren't the goofy geeks everyone thinks they are. On the contrary, they've just come to the point in their lives where they don't give a rat's shit what other people think of them. This epiphany came to me as I sat in the hotel lounge by myself, drinking my Stella while playing solitaire on my iPhone. I'm sure I looked like a dork but the degree of my ambivalance couldn't be measured by any mechanism known to man. You know it wasn't so long ago when I looked upon guys like me with a sense of pity and disgust. Little did I know that they had a keener grasp on the realities of life than I did and they were far happier doing their own thing while the rest of us tried doing the so-called cool thing.  And I'll be honest, I failed miserably at being cool.  

But I will say there is one thing I find pretty creepy and incredibly uncomfortable to watch and that's the old guy trying to put on the moves on a 20 something. It's just wrong on sooooo many levels. I mean, dudes, really?  You're hitting on someone old enough to be your daughter.  Now that might fly in Kentucky or Arkansas but the rest of the civilized world frowns on that kind of behavior. I just want to remind them that back "in their day" they never could've landed such a hotty so what makes them think they could do any better now?  And unlike fine wine, their flirting skills DON'T get better with age. My brothers, it's like watching a train wreck when you try to be all Senior Suavy to the youngsters.  Consider yourself lucky that they're polite and respectful enough to spare you what they're really thinking.  

A piece of advice - back away from the babes and keep your hands where we can see 'em.  There are plenty of blue hairs to nail at the retirement home and most of them won't even remember you failed to "bring your A game."  

You're welcome. 

Deeeeeep cleansing breath...

I've never been good at conventional meditation.  Aroma candles, spa music on Pandora, comfy clothes and a soft mattress are a recipe for nap time rather than an opportunity to meditate.  As much as I enjoy all those sensory treasures, they'll put me to sleep quicker than I can say "Aaooohhhmm".  Forcing myself to sit in a dark room and go through some checklist of things one must do in order to meditate just doesn't work for me either.  If I'm going to get the benefits of meditation then I need a better method for combating the demons in my head.

Not sure how common or uncommon this might be but my best meditation happens while I'm in the throws of some athletic endeavor.  For years my therapy sessions took place along the Pacific Coast Highway, "PCH" for all you So Cali's.  I would ride or run for miles, all the while getting lost in thought and prayer over any and all topics that occupied my life at the time.  Today all those years of pounding the pavement have limited my ability to run and meditate.  Nowadays when I run my thoughts are more along the lines of how crappy my knees and back feel rather than sifting through the cobwebs of my mind.  So my new venue is the pool.  Getting in the water at 4:00 AM, with the pool all to myself, I can delve deep into my thoughts.  Sure that first jolt from the cold water is not exactly how I want to greet the day but it's a good wake up call for the mediation to come.

I guess the same way that music and scented candles help some folks set the mood for meditation, the rhythm of my stroke, kick and breathing help put me into a mental groove that opens my mind and my heart to all kinds of thoughts and feelings.  The only challenge for me is trying to keep count of my laps.  My obsessive compulsive nature forces me to keep a highly accurate count of my laps so I know exactly how far I've gone and when I can stop.   Hey, no short cuts!  And if I lose count, then it's an extra lap just to be sure.  If only I could meditate my way out of that behavior.  Oh well.

Meditation is something we all need from time to time.  You can't keep running around like a crazy person trying to solve one problem after another without making time for yourself.  We all need time to decompress and think upon issues in our lives and come to grips with how we feel about them.  The great thing about meditating is you can think and feel any way you want without filter or judgement.  Don't let someone try to tell you exactly how you're suppose to meditate.  There are some fundamental aspects that you should consider and music and candles aren't necessarily for everyone.  The key is eliminating distractions.  Kids, spouses, friends, etc, they all need to take a back seat while you work your way through the things that are weighing heavily on your mind.  One of the greatest benefits to meditating is you can go through a string of emotions over something and more often than not by the time you're done you've come to some understanding about it that is most likely somewhere in the middle of the extreme feelings you felt.

So do yourself a favor and give yourself a moment or two throughout the week to be calm and quiet and think about the things that are most important to you.  You need this every bit as much as you need to eat and breathe.  Just try not to fall asleep.  :-)

Training Day...

In the Army we use to say, "Train the way you're going to fight."  In a training environment you'd be put through hell so that when the time came when you truly need courage and strength you'd be able to draw upon those resources that would get you through your situation.  In my obsessive days of triathloning and marathoning I would literally push myself to near collapse so that anything race day could throw at me I'd be ready.  If I hadn't pushed myself so hard putting in all those miles in the pool and on the road the physical and mental challenges on race day would have certainly consumed me.

As we all move through life we may experience from time to time severe hardships.  Most of the time we look back on those experiences emotionally and physically scarred, usually harboring feelings of anger or resentment.  The unfortunate thing is that we miss the most important lesson of those experiences and that's the acquisition of strength.  Now I know we've all heard the phrase, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."  It's an overused statement intended to help someone recover from a horrible situation.  It's really come to mean that you merely survived a difficult time in your life and nothing more.  At no time has anyone ever said, "Well, this experience has certainly strengthened you for other things to come in life."

Think about this.  After the suffering we've endured other difficult events have come along and in our minds they didn't seem nearly as bad as the one that nearly crushed us.  But imagine if you hadn't had that one really bad experience.  Imagine how much more difficult those subsequent events may have been for you if you hadn't had the opportunity to grow and become stronger through that one horrible experience.  Trust me I'm not saying we need to go out looking for trouble.  Trouble definitely has a way of finding us.  But hopefully when the
day comes and while in the depths of your despair perhaps you might entertain the thought that the event, as horrible as it may be, is a training day for you.  Perhaps it's intended to help strengthen you for other things life will be throwing at you.  

Hardships will present themselves to you and you will be beat about the head and shoulders but in the end you WILL find yourself still standing.  At that time remind yourself you didn't just survive, you conquered.  You emerged victorious and gained great personal strength through it all.  You will find that the more life throws at you the more you can take and the stronger you will become.

Bucket List 2.0

I figured now that I'm receiving AARP ads in the mail it's ok for me to come up with a "before I die" bucket list without coming off all maudlin about my own mortality.  I've developed a few lists over the years but figured it was time for some updating.  As a crotchety-old-man in training it's my perogative to change my mind as I see fit.

So here's what's in the bucket...

1.  I'd like Morgan Freeman to narrate something interesting about me.  Wouldn't we all?  Ok, it doesn't even have to be interesting.  Hell he could talk about me brushing my teeth and it would sound cool.

2.  One last time I'd like to sit in the Spaten bier tent at the Munich Oktoberfest drinking my favorite bier.  

3.  Some day I hope to hold my grandchild in my arms and to hear them call me Papa or Papa John.

4.  I'd like to be able to retain all the cherished memories I've collected over my life and forget all the bad ones.  

5.  I want to still be able to snowboard when I'm 75. 

6.  I'd like to have Christina Hendricks hand me a tumbler of a very fine single malt and say, "Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Draper?"  Must include lots of body language, the purple dress and pouty lips.  Hey, it's my list!

7.  I'd like to be able to buy a bottle of Louis XIII and share it with family and friends.  Oh and some Cubans as well.  Cigars, not people.  

8.  I want to see the sun set on a beach in Hawaii. 

9.  I want to see the sun rise over the Alps. 

10.  I'd like to ride a train (1st class) through Europe. 

11.  I'd like to spend Christmas with both daughters and their families.  

12.  I want to see my girls achieve personal success and find true happiness.  They're definitely on the right track.

13.  I want to run one more marathon, preferably through Death Valley. 

14.  I'd like to work on a vineyard during harvest time.  

15.  I want to ride a horse bareback without personal injury.  

16.  I'd like to find a chocolate old fashion doughnut as good as the ones I use to get from that old grocery store in Daly City, California back when I was a kid. 

17.  I'd like to conduct my own personal taste test between California's finest big reds and Bordeaux's best.  Someone will have to provide the wine, though.

18.  I want to sit with someone who's willing to listen to all my stories without judgement or falling asleep.  

19.  I'd like to be able to leave this existence quickly and quietly with little fanfare, leaving enough behind for everyone to have a wicked cool party.

Well I think that's it for now.  So let's get started.  Where's the horse?

Courage

It never ceases to amaze me the way in which real courage manifests itself.  No, I'm not talking about the latest Stallone hack movie or even the exploits of our local firemen although I do salute their services on behalf of a grateful community (Stallone excluded).  No I'm talking about the every day examples of courage that is personified by the actions of mere mortals such as you.  Unlike Hollywood's definition, courage, like miracles, are usually subtle but no less magnificent.   

So what is courage?  Courage is nothing more than a decision.  It's a moment in time where you decide to take action.  It's a jumping off point from which all things are possible.  It only takes physical and mental strength and a little perseverance to climb a mountain, compete in a triathlon, work towards a degree, raise a family, or care for the sick and elderly. But it takes courage, real courage, to DECIDE to do all these things.  The hardest part of any venture is the decision to actually do it.  The doing part is just a mere formality that is played out after the hard part has been concluded.   

But let's be clear about something.  Courage doesn't guarantee you'll win. It doesn't even mean you'll perform well.  It makes no assumptions about your strengths or abilities.  What it means is that you chose to do something.  Something outside your comfort zone.  Something slightly beyond your reach and usually against your natural instincts for self preservation and your fear of failure.  You see the task at hand and you realize that what lays before you needs to be done, it MUST be done.  And somewhere deep in your sub conscience you know that not taking on this task would cause greater pain than the possibility of failure at the task. 

Just remember you don't need to be strong.  You don't need to be exceptionally smart or have mad skills.  And most certainly you don't need to be free of fear.  In order to have and to exercise courage you only have to decide and that's really the hard part.  From that point on ALL things are possible.  All the power you need is already within you.

Google+ versus Facebook

A while back I ventured away from Facebook and started exploring this whole other world called Google+.  Now I know Google+ has been around for a little while but compared to Facebook it is a bit of an up-and-comer.  When it comes to comparing the number of folks participating in each, it's pretty much a David vs. Goliath kinda thing.  But let's not forget how that played out.

So what's the big difference between Google+ and Facebook?  Discretion.  Facebook is pretty much the land of "TMI".  Every excruciating, boring, non-sensical detail and rant about our lives gets played out on the pages of Facebook.  No filters whatsoever.  I suppose one could look at Facebook and say that's our 1st Amendment rights hard at work.  We take our cyber soapboxes and say whatever we want.  Now don't get me wrong, I like that frank openness and free sharing of information.  I personally find the inspirational posts very meaningful and it's something I look forward to reading every day.  Facebook is also a great way to keep up with family and friends, to see what's going on in everyone's life.  I mean seriously if it wasn't for Facebook how would we know that someone's kid graduated college or that someone was moving or that a loved one needed some prayers to get through a hard time?  When's the last time any of us sat down and WROTE, with pen and paper, a letter to someone?  I'm ashamed to say I honestly can't remember other than a few Thank You notes in response to birthdays and holidays.

Now Google+, on the other hand, is a whole different cyber playground, at least the parts I delve into.  There's very little personal rants  or musings that I've ever come across.  Google+ is mostly made up of "communities", virtual gathering spots for folks with similar interests.  There are some well established communities plus you can also create your own.  The benefit of that is you keep your interests only within the circle of people in your community.  Folks that aren't into pottery won't see all your posts of the different pottery fixtures you share.  Another cool thing about Google+ is the absence of "Friending" which gives you the ability to view every post, send messages and chat online with your friends.  As you all know Facebook is all about growing the number of friends you have.  It seems to be a badge of honor that a person can have over a thousand "friends".  Really?  Who the hell has a thousand friends?  On a good day I probably have a couple dozen real friends and perhaps only about five of those are considered really close friends.  With Google+ it's all about adding people to your "circles".  For example I've created a few different circles related to things like photography, inspiration and faith.  People I've added to those circles are folks who's work or ideals mean something to me.  They don't need to accept me as a friend which would then give me inroads into their lives.  It's just me following their posts.  There's no messaging, no private conversations, just viewing and commenting on posts that they share publicly.

Still not sure what I'm talking about?  Let me give you an example of the difference between these two social media giants.  Scenario:  A photographer is out doing some landscape photography.  He comes home, processes a few photos and gets ready to post his experience online.

This would be a typical post in Google+...

"I was just south of Breckenridge looking to capture some Fall photos.  I shot this photo with my Canon 5D Mark II using a 17-40mm wide angle lens.  I set my ISO to 125 and my f-stop to 20 which then required a pretty slow shutter speed so good thing I had my tripod with me.  I took 5 bracketed photos and stitched them together in Photomatix Pro, making some slight adjustments to the shadowed areas around the trees.  After that I made just a few more enhancements in Lightroom v5 and cropped the photo into a panorama."

Now, here's how it would sound in Facebook....

"OMG!  Totally nailed this shot.  Can't believe how pretty it was up in Breck.  It was a bitch hiking to this spot but what the heck, it was worth it.  Some asshole with a dog almost knocked me off the trail.  GET A LEASH IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR DOG!  Whatever.  Sweet brewery in Frisco.  Drank way too much.  Lucky I didn't get pulled over driving home.  BTW, waitress was SOOOOO hot.  ;-)"

Hey, I'm not saying one social media site is better than the other.  There are plenty of choices out there to suit your desires.  I definitely think there is good in all of them.  You just have to decide how much you want folks sniffing your dirty laundry.  So pick your poison wisely.  You never know who might be watching.

Be or do...

Ever have the unfortunate experience of being caught in a rip tide?  For those of you that frequent or live nearby our coastal oceans you know what I'm talking about.  It's that ever so subtle phenomenon where the ocean current pulls you away from the shore.  It's a scary and dangerous situation to be in, to be sure.

You usually don't know you're in a rip tide until you start to realize you're drifting farther away from shore.  For the inexperienced, when that realization occurs, panic sets in and the hapless swimmer will try frantically to swim back to shore, usually with tragic results.  Every lifeguard will tell you the best thing to do when caught in a rip tide is to just relax, go with flow and ever so gently work your way along the shore until you're no longer in the current and can then safely swim back.  That seems to go against our instincts towards survival.  When situations seem their most desperate we put up the greatest fight but that fight can exhaust us and ultimately lead to our demise.

Eckhart Tolle has written several books on the concept of being "in the now".  We all tend to worry about tomorrow, about situations we can't control.  We fail to realize where we are in the moment and struggle to reach a shore that's, at this time, unreachable.  We need to be able to flow with our circumstances and allow events to play out while ever so calmly and gently influencing our environment to where we are no longer caught in that "rip tide", in a desperate struggle to save ourselves, whether physically, mentally or spiritually.  This takes a real act of faith and unfortunately faith is something so many people lack these days.

I have no great words of wisdom about how to retain faith.  It's just something you have.  It's not to say that I don't waver from time to time.  Trust me, I have my moments.  I guess it's just a realization deep down that tells me there IS a way out of my current predicament and some times I just need to ride things out instead of fighting.

You may feel desperate, unsure, alone, or frightened but that's ok.  You don't always have to have the answers.  Your life doesn't always have to have a clear path.  Remember life is a journey and we have to expect rough, fearful valleys to go along with those glorious peaks.  When life appears chaotic, let it go.  Allow the storm to swirl around your calm.

The waters will rise and they're recede.  Clarity will overcome uncertainty.  Joy always comes on the heals of despair.  Remember this too shall pass and the sun will shine upon you again.

Have faith....

Do it, ALL the time...

Not long ago I finally made my way through the HBO series "John Adams".  Being a history buff I've always enjoyed a good period piece.  Yes, even more than those moody vampire or alien robot movies.

The final episode of the series ran more like an epilogue.  The not-so-subtle remarks about maintaining our personal freedoms in the face of an oppressive government certainly resonated with our current state of affairs.  But the one thing that really stuck with me was a simple phrase uttered by the John Adams character as he was gazing upon some flowers, "Rejoice evermore."  He repeated it several times and to me it's magnificent in it's simplicity and depth.

How often do we really "rejoice" about our lives?  I'm not talking about whooping it up when our favorite team wins.  When was the last time something so simple, so small yet so wonderful captured your attention and made you realize what a wonderful world you live in?  I know it's easy to be consumed with financial and personal struggles but all those things aside there is a beautiful world out there that's on display for us every day.  Watching a bee work his way on and around a flower.  Seeing a child's face light up when daddy hands him an ice cream cone.  An elderly couple holding hands as they shuffle through a park.  There is certainly no fanfare for any of these things but they are wonderful nonetheless.

Your life is full of wonderful gifts but they're typically overshadowed by hardships.  When bad things happen don't just assume life is miserable.  Instead think of it as an attention grabber, something that's removing your blinders to help expose the inner strength you have to endure anything and the vision to see the good among the bad.

There truly is so much to be thankful for.  Sometimes we just need to be quiet and calm and let the shroud of despair fall away so we can rejoice EVERMORE at the beauty that surrounds us.

It's that easy...

Sometimes I whine bitch and complain about how hard it is to find decent folks in my neighborhood.  Seems more often than not I run into complete a-holes running around at breakneck speed just trying to get on with their lives with no regard to those around them.  It's wonderful when life presents a little twist now and then.  

Flawlessly executing my routine of stopping by Starbucks first thing in the morning after my self-inflicted beatings at the gym, I noticed this same guy I see most mornings making his way from his pristine car to the coffee shop.  The guy usually drives a very slick Jaguar but this morning it was an elegant Audie.  He's always impeccably dressed, a far cry from the sweat stained garb I usually have on.  He orders his coffee and with book and coffee in hand he makes his way to a nearby table to enjoy a quiet morning before heading off to work.  

Now of course being the dick that I am I immediately assume he's some pretentious guy, full of himself and his money.  What the hell is wrong with me?  In all these months we've never spoken a word except for this morning.  While preparing his coffee he noticed they hadn't put out the creamer yet.  As they brought it to him for some reason I blurted out, "Ahhh, we're gonna need that."  He kinda chuckled and said, "Ya got that right, here you go" and passed it on to me.  Wow, that was nice, and from a guy I just ASSumed was some snobby suit.  

As he sat down and I was prepping my coffee I looked over and noticed he was reading a different book then the one from the other day.  Feeling social I said, "So what are we reading today?"  Just a simple question, not a lot of effort involved.  He could have waved the book at me or just ignore me all together.  But instead he showed me the title, mentioned the author and briefly described what it was about.  I praised his reading prowess since he seems to read a couple books every week.  Next thing I knew we're carrying on a conversation about reading, the virtues of eReaders versus bounded copies and how it takes some of us weeks to read a book while others blaze through them like they were on cocktail napkins.  

I must say that was a nice happy jolt to my morning.  A crappy ass illusion was shatter and in it's place a genuine expression of neighborly friendship.  As I climbed into my truck I scolded myself for having such a negative perception of someone I didn't even know.  But I also thanked God for giving me such a wonderful and simple experience all because of a simple phrase, "Ahhh, we're gonna need that."  Who says there aren't decent folks out there?  They're really not all that hard to find.  Just remember, the first step in finding friendly people is to be friendly people.  

It's really that easy.

"If you had to choose" - the survey

Just a little personal survey here. Simple either/or questionnaire.  Don't worry you're not going to be graded on this and there are no right answers. Just something to help you think, perhaps put things in a little perspective.

If you had to choose...

1.  Would you rather be wealthy or have integrity?

2.  Would you rather be right and alone or wrong with a large circle of friends?

3.  Would you prefer fame or joy?

4.  Would you rather succeed on your own or fail as a team?

5.  Would you prefer to be liked or respected?

6.  Would you prefer to be poor with your soul mate or rich with someone you like?
7.  Would you prefer to make someone smile with a lie or cry with the truth?
8.  Would you rather have immortality or salvation?
9.  Would you prefer the burden of knowledge or the bliss from ignorance?
10. Would you rather have a lot of time with little to do or have a little time for a lot to do?
11. Would you rather be needed or desired?
12. Would you rather have had and then lost the ability to do something or to have never had the ability at all.
10. Chocolate or vanilla?

See?  That wasn't so bad.  Certainly not like the questions I use to ask my parents when I was a kid. "If you could only save one of us, would you save me or my sister?"

"...What do you mean, 'neither'?!"

Something to Say..

A person can post inspirational quotes and photos on Facebook and we all gravitate towards it.  Charity, forgiveness, compassion, fidelity, honesty, love - these are all things we love to share and express.  They are wonderful virtues that many of us aspire to emulate.  But it's funny that the moment someone attributes these virtues to their faith the message is almost entirely lost.  The eye rolls and the "ugh" begin.

Why are we so squirrely about our faith?  Why is it so hard to be able to stand up in front of crowd, or less yet, just among a few friends and say "I'm a Christian".  I don't know if this only pertains to Christians but in my personal experience I don't see many Jewish or Islamic folks embarrassed to declare their faith publicly.  When someone quotes from the Koran or Torah you don't see the backlash you do when someone quotes the Bible.  You can speak of all the wonderful virtues I just mentioned but the moment you attribute those to Jesus Christ it's like the message is lost.  "Yes I agree, we all need to be more loving and compassionate people.  Huh?  What?  Jesus said that?  Oh, well whatever.  You're just some religious nut."  I can talk to someone about all these wonderful things and I can see it in their eyes they are captivated by what I'm sharing.  But the moment I say, "My Lord Jesus Christ...", I've immediately lost my audience.

I don't know, maybe it's the bad rap Christianity has gained over the centuries from the Crusades, the Inquisition, all the way to our current day Televangelists.  Unfortunately a lot of bad has occurred in the name of Christ.  You want to wipe out a village?  Just say "God wills it!" and you can light your torches without guilt.  Again from my own personal perspective I think it's the self-righteous hypocrites that have driven a wedge between our Lord Jesus Christ and the masses.  They stand before God and country, spewing out line and verse from the Bible, telling us how horrible we "heathens" are and how we'll never find salvation unless we follow the path of Christ only to eventually find out these same Bible thumpers live a secret life that would make the devil blush.  I'll be honest I haven't spent a lot of time within the other faiths but it just seems to me that there are many people who think being a Christian some how entitles them to sit in self-righteous judgement over others.  Personally I wouldn't want that job.  I have a hard enough time as it is trying to keep my life in order.  I can't imagine being saddled with the responsibility of having to judge others.

You can condemn all those who have social or political views or life styles you don't agree with by reciting some scripture in order to make your point that you're in the right and they are in the wrong.  Why can't we REALLY be more like Christ and reach out with a hand rather than a stick to share with others the love and compassion that God shares with us?  If you can share God's word without placing yourself up on some pedestal the message may be better received.  If you can express love to others without making yourself look or sound better than them then maybe more fence sitters will see Christianity as a faith of love, compassion, community and charity rather than judge, jury and executioner.  I'll continue to work through my insecurities about sharing my faith but I hope that those I do speak with will see that I don't sit in judgement, that I'm just like them, a flawed and insecure person who just happens to accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior.

Whatever your views or life style, I still love you as a creation of God and I'm fortunate to experience life with you in it.

Let the sale begin!

So this weekend is our annual community garage sale weekend.  An opportunity to lay out our fabulous junk for would-be treasure seekers.  Unlike most folks I don't usually determine the success of a garage sale in terms of how much money we make.  Typically if I'm able to unload that one god-awful item that would just as easily find a home at a local landfill then as far as I'm concerned that garage sale was a success.  But making a few bucks is definitely foremost on my mind.  Not because I'm wanting to roll around like Demi Moore, semi-naked on a bed of dollar bills.  No, more so because whatever profit we might make selling our stuff my darling wife is usually spending it on other people's unwanted treasures.  But to be fair she usually does find some pretty cool stuff with the exception of that treadmill that is still sitting in our basement, unused since the day she bought it.  I'm sure we could decorate it with planters or some other adorable creation from DIY's "Rehad Addict".  Oh well....

So come on over.  Give us the opportunity to move our crap into your garage to go along with all your crap.  Come on, daddy needs wine!

Grow, baby, grow!

It occured to me that a lawn to a home owner is like hair to a middle aged man.  It grows where you don't want it and won't grow where you need it. I've tried several versions of Rogaine for lawns but I still have random patches of bare spots that stick out like a 45 year old at a 20 something bar. I've considered grass comb overs but all the other lawns just laugh and there's nothing more pathetic than an emascalated lawn.  Miracle Grow, Revive and an assorted mix of Viagra for grass haven't done much to stimulate growth.  I read somewhere that you should speak to your plants with a soothing and nurturing voice in order to help them grow.  Well I figure the same could be said for my lawn but even my best Marvin Gaye and Barry White couldn't get these blades of green to stand tall and firm.  Oh well, I'll keep plugging away because when it come to lush, green grass size DOES matter.

A Peace of Work...

I've got a question for you - have you ever prayed for your enemy?  Ok, so maybe you're not a praying person.  Well, have you ever extended compassionate thoughts towards those that make a career out of pissing you off?  Think about that for a moment while I sip my coffee......

Oh, you're back.  Well?  Hmm, just as I thought.  Ok, so maybe some of you have but I would venture a bet that most of you haven't.  It's a weird thing to extend a prayer or positive energy to those that seem hell bent on making our lives miserable.  And regardless of your spiritual upbringing, it's not instinctual to reach out to others when we've been hurt.  Normally when we've been wronged we typically turn inwards.  We tend to our wounds and either continue to wallow in our suffering or go on the offensive.

We all have similar cast of characters in our lives which usually includes at least one villain.  Perhaps it's that co-worker or boss that seems to snipe at you at every turn.  Maybe it's the friend or family member that always tries to one up you.  Or maybe it's just that customer service rep at a local store that makes you feel like total crap when you're trying to return something.  Regardless, these people need our prayers a lot more than they need our ire.  Yeah, I know.  That's a tough one to swallow.

For years when life was throwing fastballs at my head I use to pray to God to make my life right.  It was always about wanting Him to fix me, take care of me, make all things better for me.  Not once did I ever consider my adversary.  But I would say it was probably about 10 years ago or so that I was given some sage advice.  Instead of praying for my life to be better, I started praying for those that would cause me the most hurt.  I'll be honest those first few prayers were more along the lines of "Dear God, please help that guy pull his head out of his ass."  But when I really meditated on it my thoughts and prayers just focused on asking God to give that person peace.  Think about it.  That person is probably harboring some level of anger or resentment that may or may not have anything to do with you but unfortunately you're at ground zero of their bitterness.  But just asking God to bless them, to help them overcome whatever it is that's making them so miserable, does so much more than you think.

When someone is crying you'll naturally want to reach out and provide an assuring hug and comforting words but when someone's angry you probably want to seek cover.  Whether that person is crying or yelling they're still hurting inside and they need our compassion and understanding more than ever.  It's hard to think that way when someone is truly being mean towards you but what are your alternatives?  Being angry right back at them?  Giving in to the resentment and hate that is consuming them?  Remember, when they're lashing out and attacking any and all that's in their path, it really is a cry for help.  I know that sounds cliché but it's true and it takes a lot of courage on our part to rise above all that anger and be the strong person.  You may feel your efforts are in vain but I can guarantee you that somewhere down the road that person will have an epiphany and will think back on people like you and will be grateful that you stood in the face of their wrath and still extended a compassionate hand.

So just make a promise to yourself today.  Promise that the moment someone does something hurtful towards you, think first about them and what's hurting them that's causing them to act the way they do.  It won't be easy, believe me, but the road to recovery and reconciliation is seldom a smooth one.

"If you had to choose..."

As a kid did you ever play that game where you'd asked each other "If you had to choose...."?  Usually it involved having to choose between two disgusting or painful options.  "Would you rather eat a worm or a cockroach?"  "Would you rather get kicked in the nuts or punched in the face?"  I guess it's not really a game.  It was really more of a way of determining each others  pain or disgust thresholds which someday you would use against them in a never ending quest to torment each other.  Ah youth!

Just the other day this little game popped into my head.  I have no idea why.  My mind usually races from one random thought to another.  But any ways the question came to mind, "Would I rather be considered a loser or a quitter?"  Hmm, an interesting choice.  I think the choice for me would be pretty easy but I wonder what others might pick for themselves.  I think some folks confuse the two options and I know many use them interchangeably when clearly they are not the same.

For me I would pick "Loser".  I know, there are a number of you out there that are saying, "Dude, you made that choice YEARS ago."  Yeah, whatever.  But to me loser implies you tried and failed to achieve something.  You took on a challenge, put your best foot forward, used all your personal resources to perform at your absolute best but you failed to achieve the goal you had set for yourself.  Winning and losing are a part of life.  We commit to something and it either goes our way or it doesn't.  What matters is that we did our absolute best, that we saw it through to the bitter end and we either celebrated our victory or sulked in our defeat.  But no matter what the outcome we stood in the ring and fought the good fight.

Now "Quitter" is another matter.  To me it implies someone who started something but CHOSE not to finish.  For some folks when things get too hard, when they encounter that first bit of resistance, when something or someone stands in their way they give up.  Now don't confuse quitting with failing.  The best way for me to distinguish between the two is that failing means you put everything on the line but failed to achieve your objective whereas with quitting you still have "gas in the tank" but choose not to go the distance.  Sometimes you have to admit that a relationship or a job has run it's course and you need to move on.  Accept that it didn't go as planned, that you put everything you had into it but it simply failed.  Beware of quitting, though.  Quitting is like a drug.  You do it once and eventually it becomes easier and easier to do.  After getting over that initial sting of shame, giving up on your dreams and ambitions becomes as easy as breathing.  And like a drug it gets to the point where you depend on it.  You'll eventually quit at nearly everything in
life - your job, your relationships, your faith, your integrity, the list goes on.  Don't ever give up on something when you know deep down inside you still have so much more to put out there.  Yeah I know, it takes a bit more courage and a willingness to endure a bit more pain but trust me that pain is nothing compared to the shame of just giving up.

So by all means call me a loser.  Let me fail at every endeavor and let me come in last in every race.  I will gladly embrace every loss as long as I don't have to live with being a quitter.

Clearing house...

So I was going through one of my old external hard drives trying to clear out some space so I can start backing up my current photos.  HOLY CRAP!  Did I take a LOT of shitty pictures over the years!   Hey, I'll call a spade a spade.  My photos REALLY sucked back in the day.  And no, I'm not going to share any of those with you.  Suffice it to say I had no business being behind a camera.

I read something a while back or maybe my wife told me, but it's a Feng shui thing where one should throw away things that are broken.  I guess it's like a negative energy thing.  If you keep broken appliances or dead plants in your house then you're surrounding yourself with negativity.  Now I might argue the point when it comes to that perfect fitting, faded pair of jeans or grandpa's old, and broken, pocket watch.  There are some things where sentimentality wins out.  But that old blender or those wilted flowers need to go the way of the dodo when they no longer serve their purpose.  My old photos are no different.  Amazing how many crappy photos I had.  I cleared out over 100GB of photographs that I'd taken since 2005 and I'm still not done purging that hard drive.

As I looked at all those photos I thought to myself, "Wow, thousands of shutter clicks died in order to get that one picture."  To be honest, many of those "final" photos were nothing more than godawful snap shots.  I remember at one time thinking that I would hold on to all these photos because I was going to re-edit them or at least keep them for posterity to show how far I've come.  Well, unlike our

old school yearbooks or early family photos, there is nothing remotely worthwhile in keeping old crappy ass pictures.  If I could go back in time and talk to myself while I was taking those pictures I'd probably say, "What the F**k are you doing?"  I remember thinking at the time I was getting some great shots.  Wow, I should've been tested for banned substances.  I don't know what was worse, the poor quality RAW images or the over-Photoshoped finals.  I'd like to think my photography has gotten better but I'll have to wait and ask myself that in a few years.  Hopefully when I'm purging my old photos then I won't feel nearly as much shame as I do now.

The seasons change.  Plants grow and then die.  Clothes fade and wear out.  Each year we clear out our garages and our yards in order to make room for all the new stuff and before we know it all the new stuff becomes old and eventually must go.  Some relationships are the same.  There are those those that will stay with us for years to come, kinda like those perennials we planted years ago.  Others might be more like annuals.  We enjoy them for a particular time or season in our life but eventually they wither away but it doesn't mean they are any less special then those that are with us year after year.  I'm not trying to be cavalier or insensitive about this but I think it's ok that some folks only make guest appearances as opposed to those that are reoccurring characters in the story of our lives.

So some photos I'll keep forever, or as long as the "1's" and "0's"stay aligned on my computer.  Others I'll dump almost as quickly as I take them.  But no matter how long they stay with me I'm glad I took them all.  Every one marks a time in my life and in my personal growth as a photographer.  The same can be said for all the relationships I've experienced in my life.  I'm grateful for those that have endured the years with me as well as those that have been with me for what seems only a fleeting moment.  I might cringe at that old crappy photo I took or think upon a friendship that withered away years ago but I have no regrets.  They were all episodes in this TV series of life.  Here's hoping my personal sitcom doesn't get cancelled any time soon.

Tools of the trade...

With the proliferation of smartphones and tablet devices that have built in cameras the population of photographers has grown exponentially over the years.  Just take a gander at Facebook and Google+ for proof.  I know there are many professional photographers out there that bristle at these wannabe artists intruding on their craft. I for one welcome these new expressionists because everyone has an artistic side that's just dying to come out and today's photography landscape offers us that outlet.  Now to be clear not everyone that posts photos is trying to be an artist.  Most just want to share what they had for dinner or show off that planter box they created from Pinterest.  But there are those that take and post photos throughout the day as if the social media world is their personal gallery.  No discriminating between the quality of the photographs. Just point, click and post.  Its with many of them I question their artistic integrity. It seems there's this sense of urgency to post as much as they can with little to no thought on producing something meaningful and interesting.  I'm not saying these folks need to stop taking pictures. On the contrary, I really want to see their work. What I hope to see are more folks putting just a little more effort in their art. 

There are far too many tools and resources available at the touch of a touch screen to account for such shoddy pictures being splashed across social media. Aside from the duck face bimbo mirror shots, the semi-scenic and portrait photos are the most popular and it kills me that if the photographer would've taken just 60 seconds to crop and auto-enhance the picture (these tools are embedded in every camera phone), they would've had an "Oh!" instead of an "eh" photograph. 

Listen up, folks.  If you're going to take the time to photograph everything in front of you, then you owe it to you, your viewers and your craft to take the best photos you can. Now you may argue that you don't have time or money to take classes or buy all this great gear and software but I'm here to tell you you DO have time and as far as money goes damn near everything you need to be a good photographer is virtually free.  There are scores of how-to photo sites on the Internet and most all decent photo apps are either free or a couple dollars. Trust me you're blowing more money on foofy coffee drinks then you would on a simple enhancement tool.  

Photo apps are only one part of the equation. Knowing the fundamentals of photography is key to taking good pictures.  Now you don't necessarily need to know all the technical details of ISO or how to adjust your shutter or f-stop settings. With your camera phone most of that is all auto mode any way. But knowing a bit about composition, the rule of thirds and perspective will go a long way in helping you capture the best image possible.  I subscribe to a couple of free photography newsletters, Digital Photography School is my favorite, and the amount and quality of info they provide would've only been available to paying college students 10 years ago. This stuff is free (donations accepted) so there's no excuse for not using them.  

So many of you have a great artistic eye and knowing the tools available to you and using them in moderation will definitely take your art to the next level. Never stop taking pictures but more importantly never stop learning and growing in your craft. Share your very best so that we all can enjoy the experiences you've captured.  

Be creative, be you!!

NOTE:  The attached photo is an example of what anyone can do with their photos. Yeah, the subject is blah. I took this from my hotel room. All I did to bring a little pop to the pic were a few minor cropping, exposure, saturation and sharpening adjustments using a tool called Snapseed ($1.99). Took me less than a minute to process.  

Time for me to fly...

Boy you know it's a friggin', frackin' early flight when TSA hasn't even shown up. I do enjoy travel to the east coast but its almost always a long day of travel.  It's like being in a constant state of fatigue from having to get up at 0'dark 30 to finally making it to your hotel room that night. Ahhhh the joys of travel.  

I hear some old folks talk about the days when air travel was fun. Yeah I vaguely remember those.  For the most part people dressed nice. As I say that I notice I'm wearing a t-shirt, jeans and dirty hiking shoes. No matter how short the flight EVERYONE got something to eat and drink and sometimes seconds if there was extra.  Kids got little plastic flight wings and if they were good they might get to visit the cockpit.  Not every seat was taken so you usually had a chance to spread out.  Planes actually carried assorted magazines and playing cards to help pass the time.  The headsets they gave you were usually kind of big and clunky but you could pretend you were a mission controller on an Apollo moon flight as you flip through all of the audio channels.  Flight attendants were absolutely gorgeous. Ahhh I had many a crush on those airline angels.  What happen to those glory days?

Nowadays the service is short on amenities as the flight attendants are long in the tooth.  The seats are small and the security lines are long.  We no longer enjoy going to the airport.  Now we just want to get through it, like its some kind of hazing gauntlet where we're strip of our clothes as well as our dignity. Yeah that big business exec doesn't look so intimidating standing in his socks holding his belt, shoes and computer bag.  

Oh well what can you do?  Give me a road trip any day!  Oop, gotta go. Flight's boarding....

Full of it...

As the great Keith Jackson would say, "Whoa, Nellie!"  That was my response stepping out of bed this morning.    Every muscle reminding me I DIDN'T sit on my ass all day yesterday.  Far from it.  Actually I don't think I reclined at any time until in the early evening.  

Yesterday was a gorgeous Spring day in Colorado.  A far cry from the winter mornings we've been experiencing for the last several months.  We had a pretty full agenda but first things first.  After some snuggle time with mutts in the morning, we got up, consumed the required amounts of coffee, packed our cameras and made our way to south Boulder to hike along Mesa Trail.  A pristine morning, not too cool and not too warm.  Julie got some amazing shots of the local wildlife.  Sophie got to flop and twist in the few patches of snow that remained.  As for me, no great photos but I did have a wonderful time with my two of favorite ladies.  

On our way home from the hike we made a quick detour over to the spa shop to get some chemicals (damn kids and their lotions), and worked out a game plan for the yard work that was forthcoming.  After dropping of a sleepy Sophie we ventured over to Home Depot, the Mecca for all things homey.  Given this was one of the first good Spring days in Colorado we had to remind ourselves that the Depot would be crawling with the suburban zombies.  You know who I'm talking about.  The scores of people who have no idea what they're doing, what they need, how they got there or what zip code they live in.  They're also the very same folks that bring along their six screaming, meandering kids as well as their cujo dog.  By they way, who the HELL brings a dog to go shopping, especially at a home improvement store?  

Well this venture was all about the yard.  Rolling the dice that we'd no longer have snow in our immediate future we picked up several plants and flowers to help bring some color to our otherwise drab, sepia looking backyard.  Now you might be asking how I could be so sore from buying and planting a bunch of flowers and what not.  Well I'll tell ya.  We kinda got the wild idea to putting down mulch for the garden areas of our yard.  Now keep in mind we have HUGE garden areas.  Long story short, we ended up making TWO trips to HD in order to bring home some 30 bags of mulch.   Mother puss bucket!  Funny, during the first trip I had three different guys ask me if I needed help loading my SUV.  Of course I said  "no", male pride getting the better of me.  When I went back for the next haul of mulch my wife insisted I allow those young bucks to help me.  Of course this time around there was no one to be found so the task of loading another 18 bags of mulch rested squarely on my shoulders, hamstrings, lower back and quads.  

I will say the yard is definitely coming along.  The mulch really perked up the place, much more than I thought.  Although this morning I'm moving with grace of a newborn foal, I'm glad we did what we did yesterday.  Pretty gratifying day I might say.  Definitely one of our better Saturdays.  Got in a fun hike, ran a few errands and worked our butts off in the yard.  I suppose if I were a younger, stronger man I'd make my way back over to HD today to get more mulch (we still have several spots that didn't make the cut), but I think today is going to be all about resting and enjoying another gorgeous day.  

Ok kids, out of the spa!  It's adult swim time!  

Impertinent Man

Scene:  Inside John's SUV

"You smell that?!  You smell that?!"

"What?!"

"Tires, son, nothing else in the world smells like that."

"One time, when I almost wrecked my car, I had to go buy new tires.  And when I went up to the dealership, after they installed the tires and put the old ones in the back of my car, I walked up... and the car, the whole car, smelled like..... burnt rubber."

"Someday this season is going to end...."

Sorry, that was just me channeling "Apocalypse Now" into an otherwise humdrum day of work and errands.  Too bad dramatizing the mundane isn't a super power.  I'd be a serious bad ass with a swirly black cape because everyone knows black is slimming and who doesn't look cool in a cape?

Just another Monday.  Work and rumors of work occupied my day.  After my allotted time in the salt mines I had to go pick up my car from the service garage.  Needed to have my snow tires swapped out for my all-weather babies.  Not sure the wisdom of that move considering we've got snow coming this Wednesday but who doesn't love riding a two ton toboggan?  Slip slidin' away, or so the song goes.

Next up a hop, skip and a jump over to Kaiser to pick up my meds.  I think I'm going to change my name to Johnny Meds cuz that sounds cooler than "Another old guy in line clinging to life through medication."  Wow there are a lot of sick ass people in hospitals.  Oh well, hopefully those folks don't have to spend to much time in that asylum.

After scoring some meds from my licensed dealer I made a quick buzz back over to our bank to make a deposit.  SOOOOO much like those more than withdraws.  Problem with withdraws is that I'm really nothing more than an over-glorified go between.  No sooner do the bucks leave my bank that they end up in the bowels of some other institution that promised me food, shelter or some other little convenience of life.  Guess you could say money is like beer.  You never really get to keep it.  You only get to enjoy it for a short while before you have to give it back.

Final stop, Starbucks.  Yeah, whatever.  It's my vice.  The first mocha lite frap of the season.  What an auspicious day!  While standing there waiting for my drink one of the hobbit-sized baristas was mopping the floor which immediately sent me back to the wonderful memories of sitting in an over sterilized military hospital waiting to be poke and prodded, and not in a good way.  I said, "Wow, smells like a hospital."  She said, "Yeah, I know.  We've got some big yahoos coming in so we have to really clean up."  I said, "Hey, at least they're only Yahoos.  Heaven forbid any Googles or Pinterests show up."  <cricket sounds..>  Cue the dear in the head lights.  Tap, tap, tap....  Is this on?  Really?  Nothing?  Not even a semi-labored chuckle?  It was an internet reference.  You frickin' kids were conceived on the damn thing.

Oh well.   I'm just not appreciated in my time.  Guess I'll just take my lame ass jokes and swirly black cape and return to my lair.

Our own doing...

A week has past and it's only gone to confirm what I've suspected for many years.  The evil in this world is of our own creation.  Sure, blame it on that obscure fellow with the horns, pitchfork and oppressive living conditions but I'm here to tell you all that's wrong in this world is of our own doing.

It took less than 24 hours after the bombing in Boston last week for all the major news stations to stop carrying stories of the victims, survivors or the first responders.  Since that horrible day it's been 24/7 glorification of two inbred lowlifes.  You can't turn around without seeing a school photo or closed circuit screen capture of these two thugs.  Even though the media speaks of their horrible crimes with such vigor all they're really doing is creating two more celebrities that the twisted wrecks of our society will come to worship and glorify and eventually emulate in another horrific and bloody crime that will leave more innocents dead and another villain or villains deified by our less than honorable news media.

But I'm not about to put the blame squarely on the shoulders of the news people.  We are the crack addicts of sensationalistic hearsay, inflamed rumors and half truths.  No matter how much we might boo hoo to each other about the suffering of others, collectively we crave to see the ceded underbelly of our society as if it's some form of entertainment or worse yet, as if we're entitled to it based on misinterpreted civil rights.  We scream for the horrific and the media is more than willing to feed that insatiable hunger.

People say that the steady and persistent dose of violence that is spewed across our TVs, movie theaters, radios, video games and most publications has no affect on the minds of our youth yet companies will spend millions of dollars for one 30 second commercial during the Super Bowl in order to influence the viewers to buy their product.  If we're all about money well spent, why waste the big bucks on a short sound byte?  I would imagine the makers of the simulated war games videos would argue out of both sides of their mouths that a 30 second commercial will help drive sales but the games themselves would have no affect on the minds of those constantly playing it.  

I sometimes wonder if there were no telecasts, no endorsements, no outrageous contracts, no spectators, no medals nor awards, how many of our precious athletes would actually compete?  If criminals were dealt with quickly, harshly and with no fanfare, do you really think we'd have as many glory seeking freaks that feel they deserve their chance in the lime light even if it's for notorious reasons?  I'm reasonable enough to know that evil will always present itself from time to time.  I'm just tired of seeing this great country of ours continue to give a platform to those who seek to do harm if only for that fleeting moment of perceived fame.