Grow, baby, grow!

It occured to me that a lawn to a home owner is like hair to a middle aged man.  It grows where you don't want it and won't grow where you need it. I've tried several versions of Rogaine for lawns but I still have random patches of bare spots that stick out like a 45 year old at a 20 something bar. I've considered grass comb overs but all the other lawns just laugh and there's nothing more pathetic than an emascalated lawn.  Miracle Grow, Revive and an assorted mix of Viagra for grass haven't done much to stimulate growth.  I read somewhere that you should speak to your plants with a soothing and nurturing voice in order to help them grow.  Well I figure the same could be said for my lawn but even my best Marvin Gaye and Barry White couldn't get these blades of green to stand tall and firm.  Oh well, I'll keep plugging away because when it come to lush, green grass size DOES matter.