"You smell that?! You smell that?!"
"What?!"
"Tires, son, nothing else in the world smells like that."
"One time, when I almost wrecked my car, I had to go buy new tires. And when I went up to the dealership, after they installed the tires and put the old ones in the back of my car, I walked up... and the car, the whole car, smelled like..... burnt rubber."
"Someday this season is going to end...."
Sorry, that was just me channeling "Apocalypse Now" into an otherwise humdrum day of work and errands. Too bad dramatizing the mundane isn't a super power. I'd be a serious bad ass with a swirly black cape because everyone knows black is slimming and who doesn't look cool in a cape? Just another Monday. Work and rumors of work occupied my day. After my allotted time in the salt mines I had to go pick up my car from the service garage. Needed to have my snow tires swapped out for my all-weather babies. Not sure the wisdom of that move considering we've got snow coming this Wednesday but who doesn't love riding a two ton toboggan? Slip slidin' away, or so the song goes.
Next up a hop, skip and a jump over to Kaiser to pick up my meds. I think I'm going to change my name to Johnny Meds cuz that sounds cooler than "Another old guy in line clinging to life through medication." Wow there are a lot of sick ass people in hospitals. Oh well, hopefully those folks don't have to spend to much time in that asylum.
After scoring some meds from my licensed dealer I made a quick buzz back over to our bank to make a deposit. SOOOOO much like those more than withdraws. Problem with withdraws is that I'm really nothing more than an over-glorified go between. No sooner do the bucks leave my bank that they end up in the bowels of some other institution that promised me food, shelter or some other little convenience of life. Guess you could say money is like beer. You never really get to keep it. You only get to enjoy it for a short while before you have to give it back.
Final stop, Starbucks. Yeah, whatever. It's my vice. The first mocha lite frap of the season. What an auspicious day! While standing there waiting for my drink one of the hobbit-sized baristas was mopping the floor which immediately sent me back to the wonderful memories of sitting in an over sterilized military hospital waiting to be poke and prodded, and not in a good way. I said, "Wow, smells like a hospital." She said, "Yeah, I know. We've got some big yahoos coming in so we have to really clean up." I said, "Hey, at least they're only Yahoos. Heaven forbid any Googles or Pinterests show up." <cricket sounds..> Cue the dear in the head lights. Tap, tap, tap.... Is this on? Really? Nothing? Not even a semi-labored chuckle? It was an internet reference. You frickin' kids were conceived on the damn thing.
Oh well. I'm just not appreciated in my time. Guess I'll just take my lame ass jokes and swirly black cape and return to my lair.
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