Bucket List 2.0

I figured now that I'm receiving AARP ads in the mail it's ok for me to come up with a "before I die" bucket list without coming off all maudlin about my own mortality.  I've developed a few lists over the years but figured it was time for some updating.  As a crotchety-old-man in training it's my perogative to change my mind as I see fit.

So here's what's in the bucket...

1.  I'd like Morgan Freeman to narrate something interesting about me.  Wouldn't we all?  Ok, it doesn't even have to be interesting.  Hell he could talk about me brushing my teeth and it would sound cool.

2.  One last time I'd like to sit in the Spaten bier tent at the Munich Oktoberfest drinking my favorite bier.  

3.  Some day I hope to hold my grandchild in my arms and to hear them call me Papa or Papa John.

4.  I'd like to be able to retain all the cherished memories I've collected over my life and forget all the bad ones.  

5.  I want to still be able to snowboard when I'm 75. 

6.  I'd like to have Christina Hendricks hand me a tumbler of a very fine single malt and say, "Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Draper?"  Must include lots of body language, the purple dress and pouty lips.  Hey, it's my list!

7.  I'd like to be able to buy a bottle of Louis XIII and share it with family and friends.  Oh and some Cubans as well.  Cigars, not people.  

8.  I want to see the sun set on a beach in Hawaii. 

9.  I want to see the sun rise over the Alps. 

10.  I'd like to ride a train (1st class) through Europe. 

11.  I'd like to spend Christmas with both daughters and their families.  

12.  I want to see my girls achieve personal success and find true happiness.  They're definitely on the right track.

13.  I want to run one more marathon, preferably through Death Valley. 

14.  I'd like to work on a vineyard during harvest time.  

15.  I want to ride a horse bareback without personal injury.  

16.  I'd like to find a chocolate old fashion doughnut as good as the ones I use to get from that old grocery store in Daly City, California back when I was a kid. 

17.  I'd like to conduct my own personal taste test between California's finest big reds and Bordeaux's best.  Someone will have to provide the wine, though.

18.  I want to sit with someone who's willing to listen to all my stories without judgement or falling asleep.  

19.  I'd like to be able to leave this existence quickly and quietly with little fanfare, leaving enough behind for everyone to have a wicked cool party.

Well I think that's it for now.  So let's get started.  Where's the horse?

Courage

It never ceases to amaze me the way in which real courage manifests itself.  No, I'm not talking about the latest Stallone hack movie or even the exploits of our local firemen although I do salute their services on behalf of a grateful community (Stallone excluded).  No I'm talking about the every day examples of courage that is personified by the actions of mere mortals such as you.  Unlike Hollywood's definition, courage, like miracles, are usually subtle but no less magnificent.   

So what is courage?  Courage is nothing more than a decision.  It's a moment in time where you decide to take action.  It's a jumping off point from which all things are possible.  It only takes physical and mental strength and a little perseverance to climb a mountain, compete in a triathlon, work towards a degree, raise a family, or care for the sick and elderly. But it takes courage, real courage, to DECIDE to do all these things.  The hardest part of any venture is the decision to actually do it.  The doing part is just a mere formality that is played out after the hard part has been concluded.   

But let's be clear about something.  Courage doesn't guarantee you'll win. It doesn't even mean you'll perform well.  It makes no assumptions about your strengths or abilities.  What it means is that you chose to do something.  Something outside your comfort zone.  Something slightly beyond your reach and usually against your natural instincts for self preservation and your fear of failure.  You see the task at hand and you realize that what lays before you needs to be done, it MUST be done.  And somewhere deep in your sub conscience you know that not taking on this task would cause greater pain than the possibility of failure at the task. 

Just remember you don't need to be strong.  You don't need to be exceptionally smart or have mad skills.  And most certainly you don't need to be free of fear.  In order to have and to exercise courage you only have to decide and that's really the hard part.  From that point on ALL things are possible.  All the power you need is already within you.

Google+ versus Facebook

A while back I ventured away from Facebook and started exploring this whole other world called Google+.  Now I know Google+ has been around for a little while but compared to Facebook it is a bit of an up-and-comer.  When it comes to comparing the number of folks participating in each, it's pretty much a David vs. Goliath kinda thing.  But let's not forget how that played out.

So what's the big difference between Google+ and Facebook?  Discretion.  Facebook is pretty much the land of "TMI".  Every excruciating, boring, non-sensical detail and rant about our lives gets played out on the pages of Facebook.  No filters whatsoever.  I suppose one could look at Facebook and say that's our 1st Amendment rights hard at work.  We take our cyber soapboxes and say whatever we want.  Now don't get me wrong, I like that frank openness and free sharing of information.  I personally find the inspirational posts very meaningful and it's something I look forward to reading every day.  Facebook is also a great way to keep up with family and friends, to see what's going on in everyone's life.  I mean seriously if it wasn't for Facebook how would we know that someone's kid graduated college or that someone was moving or that a loved one needed some prayers to get through a hard time?  When's the last time any of us sat down and WROTE, with pen and paper, a letter to someone?  I'm ashamed to say I honestly can't remember other than a few Thank You notes in response to birthdays and holidays.

Now Google+, on the other hand, is a whole different cyber playground, at least the parts I delve into.  There's very little personal rants  or musings that I've ever come across.  Google+ is mostly made up of "communities", virtual gathering spots for folks with similar interests.  There are some well established communities plus you can also create your own.  The benefit of that is you keep your interests only within the circle of people in your community.  Folks that aren't into pottery won't see all your posts of the different pottery fixtures you share.  Another cool thing about Google+ is the absence of "Friending" which gives you the ability to view every post, send messages and chat online with your friends.  As you all know Facebook is all about growing the number of friends you have.  It seems to be a badge of honor that a person can have over a thousand "friends".  Really?  Who the hell has a thousand friends?  On a good day I probably have a couple dozen real friends and perhaps only about five of those are considered really close friends.  With Google+ it's all about adding people to your "circles".  For example I've created a few different circles related to things like photography, inspiration and faith.  People I've added to those circles are folks who's work or ideals mean something to me.  They don't need to accept me as a friend which would then give me inroads into their lives.  It's just me following their posts.  There's no messaging, no private conversations, just viewing and commenting on posts that they share publicly.

Still not sure what I'm talking about?  Let me give you an example of the difference between these two social media giants.  Scenario:  A photographer is out doing some landscape photography.  He comes home, processes a few photos and gets ready to post his experience online.

This would be a typical post in Google+...

"I was just south of Breckenridge looking to capture some Fall photos.  I shot this photo with my Canon 5D Mark II using a 17-40mm wide angle lens.  I set my ISO to 125 and my f-stop to 20 which then required a pretty slow shutter speed so good thing I had my tripod with me.  I took 5 bracketed photos and stitched them together in Photomatix Pro, making some slight adjustments to the shadowed areas around the trees.  After that I made just a few more enhancements in Lightroom v5 and cropped the photo into a panorama."

Now, here's how it would sound in Facebook....

"OMG!  Totally nailed this shot.  Can't believe how pretty it was up in Breck.  It was a bitch hiking to this spot but what the heck, it was worth it.  Some asshole with a dog almost knocked me off the trail.  GET A LEASH IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR DOG!  Whatever.  Sweet brewery in Frisco.  Drank way too much.  Lucky I didn't get pulled over driving home.  BTW, waitress was SOOOOO hot.  ;-)"

Hey, I'm not saying one social media site is better than the other.  There are plenty of choices out there to suit your desires.  I definitely think there is good in all of them.  You just have to decide how much you want folks sniffing your dirty laundry.  So pick your poison wisely.  You never know who might be watching.

Be or do...

Ever have the unfortunate experience of being caught in a rip tide?  For those of you that frequent or live nearby our coastal oceans you know what I'm talking about.  It's that ever so subtle phenomenon where the ocean current pulls you away from the shore.  It's a scary and dangerous situation to be in, to be sure.

You usually don't know you're in a rip tide until you start to realize you're drifting farther away from shore.  For the inexperienced, when that realization occurs, panic sets in and the hapless swimmer will try frantically to swim back to shore, usually with tragic results.  Every lifeguard will tell you the best thing to do when caught in a rip tide is to just relax, go with flow and ever so gently work your way along the shore until you're no longer in the current and can then safely swim back.  That seems to go against our instincts towards survival.  When situations seem their most desperate we put up the greatest fight but that fight can exhaust us and ultimately lead to our demise.

Eckhart Tolle has written several books on the concept of being "in the now".  We all tend to worry about tomorrow, about situations we can't control.  We fail to realize where we are in the moment and struggle to reach a shore that's, at this time, unreachable.  We need to be able to flow with our circumstances and allow events to play out while ever so calmly and gently influencing our environment to where we are no longer caught in that "rip tide", in a desperate struggle to save ourselves, whether physically, mentally or spiritually.  This takes a real act of faith and unfortunately faith is something so many people lack these days.

I have no great words of wisdom about how to retain faith.  It's just something you have.  It's not to say that I don't waver from time to time.  Trust me, I have my moments.  I guess it's just a realization deep down that tells me there IS a way out of my current predicament and some times I just need to ride things out instead of fighting.

You may feel desperate, unsure, alone, or frightened but that's ok.  You don't always have to have the answers.  Your life doesn't always have to have a clear path.  Remember life is a journey and we have to expect rough, fearful valleys to go along with those glorious peaks.  When life appears chaotic, let it go.  Allow the storm to swirl around your calm.

The waters will rise and they're recede.  Clarity will overcome uncertainty.  Joy always comes on the heals of despair.  Remember this too shall pass and the sun will shine upon you again.

Have faith....

Do it, ALL the time...

Not long ago I finally made my way through the HBO series "John Adams".  Being a history buff I've always enjoyed a good period piece.  Yes, even more than those moody vampire or alien robot movies.

The final episode of the series ran more like an epilogue.  The not-so-subtle remarks about maintaining our personal freedoms in the face of an oppressive government certainly resonated with our current state of affairs.  But the one thing that really stuck with me was a simple phrase uttered by the John Adams character as he was gazing upon some flowers, "Rejoice evermore."  He repeated it several times and to me it's magnificent in it's simplicity and depth.

How often do we really "rejoice" about our lives?  I'm not talking about whooping it up when our favorite team wins.  When was the last time something so simple, so small yet so wonderful captured your attention and made you realize what a wonderful world you live in?  I know it's easy to be consumed with financial and personal struggles but all those things aside there is a beautiful world out there that's on display for us every day.  Watching a bee work his way on and around a flower.  Seeing a child's face light up when daddy hands him an ice cream cone.  An elderly couple holding hands as they shuffle through a park.  There is certainly no fanfare for any of these things but they are wonderful nonetheless.

Your life is full of wonderful gifts but they're typically overshadowed by hardships.  When bad things happen don't just assume life is miserable.  Instead think of it as an attention grabber, something that's removing your blinders to help expose the inner strength you have to endure anything and the vision to see the good among the bad.

There truly is so much to be thankful for.  Sometimes we just need to be quiet and calm and let the shroud of despair fall away so we can rejoice EVERMORE at the beauty that surrounds us.

It's that easy...

Sometimes I whine bitch and complain about how hard it is to find decent folks in my neighborhood.  Seems more often than not I run into complete a-holes running around at breakneck speed just trying to get on with their lives with no regard to those around them.  It's wonderful when life presents a little twist now and then.  

Flawlessly executing my routine of stopping by Starbucks first thing in the morning after my self-inflicted beatings at the gym, I noticed this same guy I see most mornings making his way from his pristine car to the coffee shop.  The guy usually drives a very slick Jaguar but this morning it was an elegant Audie.  He's always impeccably dressed, a far cry from the sweat stained garb I usually have on.  He orders his coffee and with book and coffee in hand he makes his way to a nearby table to enjoy a quiet morning before heading off to work.  

Now of course being the dick that I am I immediately assume he's some pretentious guy, full of himself and his money.  What the hell is wrong with me?  In all these months we've never spoken a word except for this morning.  While preparing his coffee he noticed they hadn't put out the creamer yet.  As they brought it to him for some reason I blurted out, "Ahhh, we're gonna need that."  He kinda chuckled and said, "Ya got that right, here you go" and passed it on to me.  Wow, that was nice, and from a guy I just ASSumed was some snobby suit.  

As he sat down and I was prepping my coffee I looked over and noticed he was reading a different book then the one from the other day.  Feeling social I said, "So what are we reading today?"  Just a simple question, not a lot of effort involved.  He could have waved the book at me or just ignore me all together.  But instead he showed me the title, mentioned the author and briefly described what it was about.  I praised his reading prowess since he seems to read a couple books every week.  Next thing I knew we're carrying on a conversation about reading, the virtues of eReaders versus bounded copies and how it takes some of us weeks to read a book while others blaze through them like they were on cocktail napkins.  

I must say that was a nice happy jolt to my morning.  A crappy ass illusion was shatter and in it's place a genuine expression of neighborly friendship.  As I climbed into my truck I scolded myself for having such a negative perception of someone I didn't even know.  But I also thanked God for giving me such a wonderful and simple experience all because of a simple phrase, "Ahhh, we're gonna need that."  Who says there aren't decent folks out there?  They're really not all that hard to find.  Just remember, the first step in finding friendly people is to be friendly people.  

It's really that easy.

"If you had to choose" - the survey

Just a little personal survey here. Simple either/or questionnaire.  Don't worry you're not going to be graded on this and there are no right answers. Just something to help you think, perhaps put things in a little perspective.

If you had to choose...

1.  Would you rather be wealthy or have integrity?

2.  Would you rather be right and alone or wrong with a large circle of friends?

3.  Would you prefer fame or joy?

4.  Would you rather succeed on your own or fail as a team?

5.  Would you prefer to be liked or respected?

6.  Would you prefer to be poor with your soul mate or rich with someone you like?
7.  Would you prefer to make someone smile with a lie or cry with the truth?
8.  Would you rather have immortality or salvation?
9.  Would you prefer the burden of knowledge or the bliss from ignorance?
10. Would you rather have a lot of time with little to do or have a little time for a lot to do?
11. Would you rather be needed or desired?
12. Would you rather have had and then lost the ability to do something or to have never had the ability at all.
10. Chocolate or vanilla?

See?  That wasn't so bad.  Certainly not like the questions I use to ask my parents when I was a kid. "If you could only save one of us, would you save me or my sister?"

"...What do you mean, 'neither'?!"