Friday, October 7, 2016

It's Inevitable, Part 2...

This was a post from my "Guten 365" blog back in 2012.  I've made a few modifications and updated to mark the times.  Certainly this is not a comprehensive list.  Feel free to add as you see fit.

  1. When you're running late, you'll hit every traffic light.
  2. A piece of toast or open faced peanut butter sandwich will always fall face down.
  3. Your transmission will fail shortly after you receive an unexpected bonus from work.
  4. Your phone will go off mute just as you're baby talkin' to your dog or yelling at your kids.
  5. A person with 30+ items, a checkbook and no understanding of the concept of exchanging money for goods will step in the express checkout line in front of you.
  6. Your car will need gas as you're late for an engagement.
  7. The one time your team is on TV they lose horribly.
  8. For you photographers, while in the middle of Photoshop-ing a highly complicated retouching project that you spent four hours on, your computer will suddenly crash.
  9. While creating your patented turkey and cheese sandwich you discover there is no cheese. 
  10. The day you feel like being lazy and making it a "movie day", all you can find on TV are Lindsay Lohan or Hillary Duff movies, or Swamp People marathons.
  11. When you're hoping to get their voice mail, they pick up.
  12. When you need them to pick up, you get their voice mail.
  13. When you're surrounded by a bunch of people, with no means of escape, the chili you had for lunch will kick in. 
  14. The day you decide to take a vacation day from work, an office emergency will require you to come in.
  15. On the day of your big social event, a zit the size of Mt. Kilimanjaro will appear on your face.
  16. The restaurant you've been Jones-ing to go to will be closed for renovations the night of your big, romantic evening.
  17. After a long week and you're heading home from work on a Friday and you need some rockin', pick me up tunes, the only songs playing on the radio are songs by Air Supply, Coldplay, Oasis or Rush.
  18. Your absolute, most favorite shirt will get a stain.
  19. When you DESPERATELY need toilet paper there will be none.
  20. Of the 60 days of record heat and dryness, the day you plan a barbeque is the one day it rains.
  21. The toner cartridge of your printer will run out when you have to print a report for your boss.
  22. That item you've spent months saving for and finally bought will be on sale the day after you bought it.
  23. Your pants button will pop off as you're frantically getting ready for work.
  24. Smoke alarm batteries will die in the middle of the night ("CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP!!")
  25. Your baby's diaper will explode as you're heading out the door.
  26. The biggest, widest person imaginable will be assigned the seat next to you on the airplane.
  27. The drunk person will always have the room next to yours.
  28. The car that refuses to drive the speed limit nor move over will eventually kick up that one, tiny rock that nicks your windshield.
  29. The post office clerk will put up the sign "Use Next Counter" just when it's your turn.
  30. Your boss will call a meeting on a Friday afternoon.
    The bottom line is, when you need something to be this way, life will almost always conspire against you to make it that way, or so it seems.

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