To be cool...

Let's face it in high school not everyone could be the cool kid.  Back in Germany where I went to school there was definitely a pecking order to things and everyone pretty much figured out their place in teenage society.  Sure I would've loved the opportunity to be THE cool kid but I think I was pretty much a career "entourager".  The one thing I've learned over the years is that even though there are a limited number of cool kids (not everyone can sit atop the mountain) there is no limit to the number of folks in an entourage.  And being part of an entourage is not a bad thing.  At the very least you have a sense of belonging.  I think even those loaner kids that we hear about in the news today would've been thrilled to be part of an entourage if only someone would've reached out to them.  Hey, it's that sense of belonging that we all crave. 

 

So what makes a "cool kid"?  And remember, don't confuse being cool with being popular.  The best athlete or the prettiest cheerleader may have been popular but it took a lot more than mad football skills or bouncing boobs to be a cool kid.  I think what really makes a cool kid cool is how they carried themselves and how they influenced those around them.  The cool kids I remember where the ones that didn't need to terrorize the weak.  They didn't insult or alienate.  On the contrary, they had a certain dignity to them and were actually engaging with us mere mortals.  They were the ones we so wanted to be like.  To be a great athlete, to do well in class, to be respected by others and to be acknowledged by our teachers.  Gods among us!   The really cool kids I knew usually had a pretty big collection of friends and even though there was a distinct social structure at my school, the cool kids were never outwardly contemptuous of any of us wanna-be's and really had more of a benevolence towards us that was fitting their royal status.  Even though most of us never sat at their lunch table or shared a beer (yeah, we could legally drink in Germany as teens), they still had a way of making us feel a part of their world, a part of their extended entourage.  

The way I see it the one good thing about being part of an entourage is that you have someone to whom the bar is set.  Whether it's someone at work, the gym, your church or pretty much any where, the cool kids represent the possibilities for a better you.  For me they remind me there's yet another hill to climb in my life, there are more things I can do and I have many more opportunities to better myself.  They are that tangible target, that objective that I strive to achieve.  But we need to be careful, though.  Aspiring to emulate someone is a good thing but aspiring to BE that person is all together different.  You recall the groupies that appeared to be nothing more than a poor clone of the original cool kid.  They so much wanted to be a part of that cool kid's life that they were willing to throw away their own identity in order to sit at the table of the cool kid.    

We've been out of high school for quite some time but the cool kids and their entourage still exist.  Think of those folks that everyone seems to gravitate towards at work, the ones that everyone respects and admires.  They're the ones you want on your project and the ones you hope will join you for drinks after work.  Those "cool kids" don't terrorize their coworkers with conniving and unethical behavior. The cool kids today are the ones that seek out your opinion and ask you to participate.  They're the ones that walk by your office and say "hi" or pour you a cup of coffee as you enter the break room.  For me the cool kids today are the photographers that encourage my art, the experienced hiker that invites me to climb Long's Peak or the accomplished swimmer that lets me tag along to his gym. It's nice to feel included.  To have someone above you reach down and pull you up to their level is an amazing feeling and it's quite humbling.   

I've finally come to realize that all of us can be the cool kid.  We don't necessarily need any special skills or be particularly pretty or have the best trinkets.  But we can be an inspiration for others.  We can reach out and make someone feel included.  We can make others feel they are important and that their presence is a blessing to us.  The simple "hello", the encouraging word or the polite gesture is enough to make anyone feel good about themselves and feel a sense of belonging if only for a moment.  Do these things NOT to be cool but because they are the right things to do.  The title "Cool" is what's bestowed upon you by those who are trying to emulate you.  The cool kids never set out to be cool.  They only set out only to be a better version of themselves.  So be the better you and let others worry about labels.